Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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