I want to have your abortion
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
