Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
