I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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