Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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