I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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