nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The uberlube is also flammable
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
