DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
