Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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