are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
