explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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