Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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