There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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