Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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