'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
