Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
