I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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