What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
