Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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