He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
