cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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