the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
