You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
