Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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