Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize