She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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