is your mom at the bar?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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