but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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