I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I looked at my own cervix.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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