Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
