Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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