never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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