im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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