if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
