There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
