But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
