im holly from the hills drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
