Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
