This girl is more easily done than said...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
