Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
