in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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