She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
