is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
