just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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