He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
