Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
