Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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