from now on my penis is your penis
it's like iHOP with fire
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
