I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
