she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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