I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
