I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
