Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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