I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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