This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
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