I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
