the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
