And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
